The Weight of the Past
by JuliaJoyBell
Summary: A ghost from Ogden 's past surfaced in a brutal way and jeopardize her present. Translation from " Le poids du passé " wrote December 2015
1. Chapter 1

**_"The weight of the past_** "

Title: The weight of the past

Author: Julia R.

Characters: Mainly, William Murdoch, Julia Ogden but also the team of the station 4.

Genre: Romance, Drama

Category: T (to be safe)

Summary: A ghost from Ogden's past surfaced in a brutal way and jeopardize her present. Translation from " Le poids du passé " wrote December 2015

Disclaimers: Murdoch Mysteries is not for me and I earn no money for this story. Everything comes back to the series and the creators of Murdoch Mysteries

* * *

 ** _Chapter 1_**

The night was already falling on the city when she was leaving the office of the morgue.

-You should get some rest Miss James, tenderly said Julia the young woman sitting on a little further steps and dive into a book, you do not learn anything more tonight.

-You probably right, she sighed , I would resume this chapter tomorrow.

They smiled and the youngest of the two stood up, she put the book on the desk and so at the same pace they left the place.

-Are we share the same carriage? Rebecca asked, turning to Julia once in the street.

-No, I have to see if my husband has still for long, she said, pointing to the lights in the office of William, thank you. Make good road.

-Thank you, good evening Doctor.

-Good evening Miss, Julia replied smiling before seeing her head towards a carriage and gives the driver the address.

Then, with a sigh, Julia joined the police station. She crossed the open space before stopping in the doorway of William's Office. He did not notice her right away, fondly looking at him furtively. She especially loved those moments, those where he did not notice that she was in the room with him to see in his every move. She knew he often did the same for years, and even married today, they could not help themself. One like the other.

Concentrated to read newspaper, William was sitting at his desk and noticed Julia when she gave some blows on his door. He looked up at her and smiled widely as he left his office to bypass as she entered the room.

-Still a lot of work tonight? She asked tenderly looking at the mess on the central table.

-I am afraid so, said William arriving next to her.

-You do not therefore come home with me, she whispered, pouting while stroking the tie of her husband.

-I am sorry, he replied in the same way by plunging his eyes into hers without being able to help put his hand on hers.

-Pity, sighed Julia on his lips approaching, I have so wanted to spend an evening in your arms Detective.

-Julia not ...

He did not finish the sentence she kissed him tenderly, slipping her arms around the neck of the young man to deepen their kiss. He took her by the waist when they already separated to catch their breath.

-Perhaps I couls kidnap you, she says with a laugh on his lips.

He shook his head from side to side and she still stroked once his lips with hers. But this time, William stepped back.

-Not here, he whispered, here I am Detective Murdoch and you are Doctor Ogden and we ...

But once again he left the sentence on hold, this time it was because of the look full of mischief addressed to him by his wife. He saw that little spark mischievous sparkle in her blue eyes, he saw that hint of desire. He saw her moisten her lips and smile while leaning her head to the side. He could not resist this view and a second later, he sealed his lips to hers for a long, deep kiss.

-Do comes too late, she whispered breathlessly.

-I have yet to conduct an interview and I come.

-Well, Julia nodded playing with William necktie, I will try to be awake. And if that is not the case, she continued stroking the chest of her husband, please not hesitate to do so.

-I'll try to remember.

They even exchanged a look, a smile and a kiss before Julia get away from William and leaves his embrace.

-Seen you later, she launched into the doorway, smiling.

-Seen you later, William replied simply already looking her away on the open space.

Giving him a last look full of promise, Julia did not see the man who came in front of her and she struck violently.

-Oh, excuse me, she said, crossing his eyes as soon as she's selected by hand to prevent her from falling, I did not see you.

-This is alright Madam, he replied, smiling at her before releasing her hand.

They were silent a moment, eyes plunged into that of another. Julia smiled, then she walked away from him without a word, yet, she was upset and she did not know why. Hoping that her husband did not see that exchange, she slipped quickly without even looking behind her, eager to return the hotel to take a bath and relax at last.

* * *

Julia had spent a pleasant evening, a light dinner, a hot bath, an interesting book and she had fallen asleep against her later. Yet, when a body lay against hers, a long smile stretched on her lips. She wrapped her arms around the neck of the young man leaned over her and she felt his breath on her lips.

-Go back to sleep, William whispered tenderly leaving a hand caressing her hip, I do not mean to wake you.

-Wake me up, Julia moaned sleepily while pulling him against her, please.

He did not answer, just looked at her a moment before looking to her for testifying tender kisses on her neck, on top of her chest while his hands caressed her on her entire body. Julia already met its assaults and while she reared, he removed her nightgown to continue to afflict her this sweet torture for several minutes before they are perfectly awake and they both burn the passion they felt at that moment.

* * *

 _to be continued..._


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

She had just put the last point in her report before sighing deeply, closing the folder. Dr. Ogden had spent the morning studying a body came at dawn, apparently related to the case that her husband investigate. Three cases of suspicious deaths of unknown origin. They had all eaten the same meal, so suspicions were moving toward a fish restaurant near the docks. But for now, they still did not know who, how and why these poor young men were killed.

Julia left her office, casting a quick glance at the small clock on her desk. It was almost noon. She rose and walked to the coat stand a little further, to hold her jacket and her hat. She dressed quickly, taking her report and left the morgue to reach the police station.

She gave two small knock at the door of the office of Detective Murdoch, politely smiling at her husband and the two men who were there.

-Something new Doctor? Brakenreid launched.

-As you thought, this man died the same way as the previous two, she said, handing her report to her colleague, but we have not been able to determine how.

-We think about poisoning, George intervened.

-Yes, this could be the right track, Julia nodded, but Miss James and myself we did all the tests, no poison is present in their body. We note only two bruises at the base of the neck.

-And what if they were just scared to death? George threw when they all turned to him. This is what happened to my Uncle Alfred, he saw Aunt Azalea out of her bath and died.

-Your Aunts are married? Brakenreid continued frowning. I thought they were ...

-Some found shoes to their feet, cut George.

-I doubt that these men are just scared to death, William replied calmly.

-They have not had heart attacks anyway, Julia continued, their heart simply stopped beating.

They were all three silent a moment, lost in their thoughts. William had taken the report from the hands of his superior and read quietly under the gaze of his wife while Brakenreid looked at his watch and that George was lost in thought, God knows where.

-Good we'll take a break, I'm starving, gave the highest ranking causing them to jump all three, we will resume later, he added before leaving the room.

George followed in the second and Julia then approached William.

-You know we planned to have lunch at the restaurant, she said, smiling.

-Yes, but...

\- " _Today I promise to spend time with you in your favorite restaurant it has been so long that we no longer went to the restaurant, honey."_ It was your words this morning before you kiss me and that your hands do take a more daring way.

William looked into that of his wife, he remembered perfectly the moment and the moments of pleasure that followed. But he couldn't help, it was stronger than him, he could not chase this investigation of his mind and all the advances of his wife would not change anything.

-I'm sorry, he said, leaning toward her, I have to question a suspect and see a Professor at the University.

She met his gaze, she knew he was sincere, but that did not stop the fact that she was disappointed.

-I understand, she muttered, looking at the floor.

-We will see later, he whispered into her neck before placing a kiss knowing how much she loved him embraces this so sensitive area.

He was already away and simply smiled at her before leaving the room, leaving her alone.

* * *

Detective Murdoch and Constable Crabtree were at the University to conduct further questioning. It was already three o'clock in the afternoon and had taken over a long time. The aisles were deserted and William savored that moment when he walked quietly under the trees. The case was bothering him, but always relaxed walk. He sighed deeply, closing his eyes moments before the voice of George brings him back to reality.

-Doctor Hatkins should be in the building in front of us, grumbled the young man.

William just nodded. They had come to speak to a Doctor and Professor in the city for a few weeks, a renowned surgeon who could probably give them details of the investigation. So they went to the building to enter the office and find the young man. Lost between books and boxes unpacked , his big blue eyes stared once. He stood up, taller than William, with his blond bright hair shinning at the sunlight entering through the nearby window, he was a handsome man. He did move his mustache smiling newcomers.

-Do you still need me Detective Murdoch? I thought I did my best yesterday.

-I am sorry to bother you Doctor Hatkins , William replied, but we still have a few questions regarding the investigation. Our forensic expert has conducted further analysis and I would like to know your opinion on the subject.

-You want the advice of a real Doctor, I understand, he said, smiling broadly, taking the folder that William handed to him.

He tried to hide his annoyance _. "Julia is a real Doctor."_

-Our coroner is quite competent, I only thought that with the many trips you did you could give us a new eye on this.

The Doctor didn't answer, pursing his lips just before leaning on Julia report.

-In any case, he seems to know his work, this report seems quite correct. Although I must admit that the schemes are not clearer.

William did not answer, exchanging glances with George before looking up the ceilings and wait impatiently he spoke again.

-The poison seems to be the reason for these deads.

-We have dismissed this possibility, all poisons have been tested and ...

-Believe me, the Doctor replied laughing heartily, I saw poisons in the East that you do not know here in America, and even less your coroner. It's not in a morgue we can learn all this.

-Our coroner is very qualified, cut a little hard William.

The young man then didn't answered simply nodding, understanding that he had irritated the Detective without even knowing why. He left eye and he leaned on the report once again.

-I should see the bodies, he murmured, if you allow me to do so perhaps I could help you on this investigation.

-You just arrived in Canada, said William, you are probably not able to help us.

-I was born, I grew up and studied in Canada, and I help the investigators in Paris in the past. If you want an expert opinion, I offer mine. Or you can let your forensic keep turning round, he said handing him the folder again.

William did not answer, pursing his lips nervously taking it. This man irritated him to no end. He had rarely seen anyone so proud, pretentious and condescending. But he had to admit that having discussed with him for nearly an hour the day before had been very stimulating. He could not have Julia with such conversations, and he had to admit that with his wife discussions were rare lately. They spoke of the ongoing business, but most of the books and magazines they read each one on his side, as these moments were now replaced with tender hugs, kisses, and more. William did not complain in the least, he liked holding his wife, but he regretted not being able to keep from kissing her during a conversation on the latest medical research. They had found a balance in their relationship, but William had to admit that sometimes he needed to share his opinion with others . And although Dr. Hatkins unnerved him, he enjoyed debating with him.

\- You will accompany us to the police station, I'll introduce you to Dr. Ogden, you will be able to share your experience with her, just threw William before turning toward the door.

At his words, Dr. Hatkins hold his breath the space of one second. " _Dr. Ogden, he thought, Julia Ogden. It was her last evening."_

-I follow you Detective, he replied in a firm voice but still catching his breath in order to put his ideas in place without either men noticing.

* * *

 _to be continued..._


	3. Chapter 3

**_Chapter 3_**

Julia was bending over a plant book when she heard the door of the morgue open. She raised her eyes barely saw her husband enter followed by another man. It was only when they arrived in her office she turned to them. Her eyes rested on the man who followed William and her heart skipped a beat. Yet this man she had met the day before, yet this strange feeling of knowing him. When she looked into his, Julia felt her breath catch.

-Doctor Ogden, here is Dr. Richard Hatkins, William launched without noticing her agitation, he is a surgeon and he can help us with the investigation. He is an expert that I am sure will enlighten you on some aspects.

Julia stood up, politely extending her hand to the young man without leaving his eyes. He just took it and shook.

-Doctor Ogden, he said in a low voice, I am delighted to meet you.

-Doctor Hatkins, Julia replied, trying to smile as her voice choked in her throat.

-I must leave you, William intervened, I'll come back later to see your findings, Drs.

-Detective, Julia stammered.

He did not let Julia time to say more, and he left the scene. Dr. Ogden then took a breath and bit her lips.

-Doctor ... Hatkins. Surgeon?

-Doctor Ogden, he replied in a sigh, I was ... surprised to hear your name, but also delighted. You ... you're arrived there it seems.

-You too, Julia murmured leaving his eyes, so now if you do not mind, we have work, Detective Murdoch is a stickler for schedules during an investigation he likes the job done quickly.

-Not very convenient indeed, but he is grown, I could talk to him last night for an hour at least to the point that he almost forgot to find his wife. Poor woman, he finished laughing, she must be very boring.

Julia did not answer, just skirting to get away before he took her wrist.

-Julia, he murmured, plunging his eyes into hers, it's good to see you.

-Be focus on the investigation Richard , please, she said in one breath.

He nodded and he let go of her wrist simply watching away on the central plateau. But he did not see the young woman close her eyes, trying to calm her, her heart was pounding in her chest. She could not believe that this man had reappeared in her life, he stood before her, and that he would work with her, under the blessing of William. She could not believe the situation in which she found herself. Why the destiny seemed to go after her? Why this ghost from the past had resurfaced in this way? She had almost lost her life because of this man, because of their past actions, when they were students. Today if she did not settle the investigation quickly, she knew she could lose the happiness she knew William. And that she would not stand. Instinctively, her hand rested on her stomach, a few seconds to remember that one day there was a little life that was growing there, she had a life cut short for today to be called Dr. Ogden.

* * *

They were both sitting at the wooden table in the center of the room. Each lost in their research, Julia avoiding as much as possible to talk to the young man, not even looking at him. He, instead watched her in secret. Noticing how she was different and yet the same after all these years.

-You know Julia, if you spoke to me we could move faster, I see you are embarrassed by my presence but soon we will find the solution, the faster you will be released from me.

-We already enough louse elements that I can make a new report to the Detective. Well then, what makes you think that I am embarrassed by your presence? Grumbled the young woman looking up at him.

-I know you, he said, laughing softly, you always purses your lips when you're upset and I see to your muscles that you're tense. You do not look at me, you bareky answer me ... need I go on?

She sighed and looked up at the ceiling which made him laugh again.

-You see? This gesture there, said Richard, you can not stop you from doing it.

Julia met his eyes again and smiled.

-You're right, she sighed softly yet, I do not expect to see you again, and when you came with ... Detective Murdoch, I was disoriented and did not know how me driving with you. Are you satisfied?

-We are old friends, colleagues.

-I think we'll stick with "colleagues" if this does not bother you. "Friends" is not really an appropriate term after what happened.

-Julia I am sorry for what happened, but it was the only option if we wanted to become doctors both. Well then, it's you who wanted it. You took the only decision I've not forced your hand.

-Do you think I had a choice? Julia replied in a tone stronger. I was forced to abort.

-You could have married me.

Julia did not answer and left his eyes to focus on her work again but the young man rose to reach her height and take her hand. She looked up at him and he saw sadness in her eyes. He did not answer and she spoke.

-We were young Richard, I would never have married you, I wanted to have a career, I had dreams and ambitions. If I became your wife, the mother of your child, I will not ever had it all. We both know.

-We were in love.

-No, Julia replied, shaking her head from left to right, it was not love, just stupid things from young people, experimentation, we wanted to experience life and we made mistakes.

-Can you forgive me?

-I'm not ready to do Richard, I'm sorry. There were too many consequences to this. Now if you do not mind, I have to go see Detective Murdoch and bring him my conclusions. I'll walk you out.

Without another word, she stood up and walked to the office to leave, the young man on her heels. But before moving away from each other in front of the building, he took her hand again. He stared into hers and he put her hand to his lips for a kiss.

-I hope to see you soon

-This is not a good idea.

-Julia, I ... I'm always wondered. And I need an answer. This child if you ... did you see his body?

-Yes, replied Julia whose voice choked in her throat, briefly.

-Was It ...

-A boy, Julia finished, we had a son.

Then, without a word and without looking, she hurried away and the young man and she joined the police station building, not noticing the silhouette of her husband behind the window of his office and that had seen this exchange that he could be judged far too intimate.

* * *

 _to be continued..._


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

The couple finally came home after a long day of work. Since they left the police station, they had very little spoken. Each lost in thought. Julia could not help remembering her past, what the return of Richard Hatkins woke in her. She supposed that William had to think about the investigation and his silence did not bother her. But the young man did not seem to consider the new elements of the investigation. He could not help but let his eyes travel over the face of Julia, without her noticing. He could not help but put a tremendous amount of questions, including all Hatkins Doctor. He was convinced that they had to know each other. Perhaps he was one of the men she had attended in social gatherings, dinners, meetings with other Doctors. William wanted to ask her, but he did not dare. He may be afraid to know the answer after all. It was the most contradictory thing, he wanted to know everything about this woman he loved passionately, and on the other hand, he could suffer to know the whole truth. After all, he too had his secret from his life before her, he had to bring himself to the idea that it was just as well.

When the carriage entered the street leading to their hotel, William sighed deeply, not leaving Julia eyes looking out. He then took her hand tenderly for her attention. He stared into hers and he smiled to her, she did the same and he could not help but kiss her cheek. He did not immediately withdrew, leaving a breath slip into the ear of his wife closed his eyes.

-I love you Julia, he whispered softly before walking away.

She stroked his cheek with a smile, then she placed a chaste kiss on his lips before the carriage stopped and they do go down to the hotel, always hand in hand.

Dinner was served promptly after their return, they had barely time to get comfortable they went to dinner.

-Tell me Julia, William began timidly as they begun dessert, what do you think of Dr. Hatkins?

She felt her breath catch and she looked up at him a few seconds. He did not want to beat around the bush, otherwise it would have been tormented all night.

-Well, Julia stammered focusing on her plate again, he is a brilliant surgeon that I could see, he is gifted, intelligent, cultured, a perfect gentleman ... she said, feeling her throat tighten, I could see the investigation from a different perspective thanks to him.

-Yes, he is a very qualified man, William continued, he traveled around the world, he knows the medicines still barely considered here. I talked with him last night on a native tribe with whom he lived three months, it's fascinating all the knowledge he has.

Julia did not answer and just smiled before taking a bite she had trouble swallowing.

-I think he should help us more often, William continued, it is clear that his knowledge could shed light on a number of case.

-We did well before him, retorted Julia, you implying that I'm not qualified enough for the forensic post?

-No, of course not Julia, I was just saying ...

-You got me the feeling you are yet very fascinated by Doctor Hatkins , Julia cut a tone harder.

-Not you ?

-He is very talented and I admit it as he traveled he has great conversations, but William, I spent my day with this man to hear him talked about his knowledge and discoveries. He is a pretentious man, full of himself, proud, charming and ... a perfect idiot. It is not the kind of man with whom I would like to work. I know that we still need him for this case, but after this please don't no longer requires me as you did.

She put her spoon on the table and pulled her towel from his knees before standing up and resume speaking.

-I'm not hungry anymore, I'll get ready for bed, she said just before getting up and leaving the small living room to reach the bathroom.

William stood there, sitting, sighing deeply. He was relieved. Relieved to understand that his wife did not like this man, for a moment he thought she had been charmed by him. He had thought he could be a rival. For William knew what beautiful woman he had married, he knew he never showed himself jealous and possessive with her, because he had confidence in her. But that day, he had understood that may be a mistake, that he had never paid attention to looks of men focused on Julia. He would not change his character, he would not become jealous, he refused, but he was a little wary. He would especially avoid pushing her in the arms of men as he had done that day. William shook his head from side to side seeing Julia in her nightgown brushing her hair in the other room. How could he not notice how beautiful she was and that he was the luckiest of men?

Without thinking, he got up to join her in a jump and slide into her back. He smiled, crossing her eyes in the mirror and his fingers went the way of the neck of his wife to depart hair that waved . He kissed it and rubbed her shoulders tenderly few moments. He made her get up to draw him into his arms. Julia sank simply, her eyes plunged into his. He then climbed a hand on her body and placed it on her breast he felt the nipple through the thin fabric. He leaned over her again and kissed her soft skin.

-William, Julia sighed, closing her eyes, I ...

-It seems to me that I must be forgiven for not having lunch with you, he grumbled on her lips before kissing her while his hands were constantly caress.

-William, Julia went to the end of their kiss, please, no ... not tonight.

He frowned and she tenderly stroked his tie plunging her eyes into his again.

-Please, she murmured to his lips, the day was challenging and I'm exhausted.

He did not answer and after a few seconds he just nodded to suddenly leave and go to the bathroom to get ready for the night to turn. When it came out later it was already pitch black except for the small lamp on the bedside table. He saw Julia in bed, eyes closed and he lay against her to hug her and kiss her hair.

-Good night, he muttered before turning off the light.

-Good night, Julia replied simply.

But that night, Julia did not sleep. She could not help thinking about the secret she hid to William. She could not help remembering that day in September when she met Richard. That day she had fallen under his spell. She remembered the moments they had spent studying, this evening they spent at the lake during a holiday week in Toronto. That evening when he had kissed her, that night where they had made love for the first time. Julia remembered the exact spot, they had been a few days early with friends to swim. The police intervened and arrested. Well then Richard had offered to make amends, it was he who insisted that she come with them. He had brought her a delicious meal, they watched the sun set over calm water. He had approached her and she had not grown back. She left him to kiss her, caress her, touch her. She had loved. She had done the same and they were abandoned under the stars. This time was the first of many and despite the pain she knows now, the first time she made love remained a good memory. Julia could not accept this, she could not accept for a moment as intimate can still be felt chills as she had not shared with William. She remembered the night that William had made love to her she was more fulfilled and happy that this first time there under the stars. And every time when her husband discovered her body was magical moments followed as she had never experienced before. But still, she could not forget and seing Richard today especially. He had been a source of great happiness but also great misfortunes. Julia knew that if she did not quickly hunted in her life, the consequences could be terrible. She had a choice in the past, she had to live with today.

The young woman felt the embrace of William tighten and she smiled, turning to him. William was her happiness now, and she would do everything to keep it.

-There is only you who can make me happy William, and there never will be another than you.

She tenderly stroked his cheek and she kissed his lips before snuggling against him as much as possible and to sleep finally, after leaving her doubts and fears.

* * *

 _to be continued..._


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5**_

The sun rose over the city just when Detective Murdoch woke up. The night had been eventful, he felt his agitated wife in bed beside him and he woke up one or the other time feeling her squeeze against him. He woke painfully, feeling the warm body of Julia against his. He did not open his eyes right away, plunging his face in her hair undone to savor their fragrance. He pressed her a little more against him to feel her hips touching his. She let out a sigh of pleasure and William agreed to open their eyes. She was still asleep but yet she did not want to see him away from her, her face nestled in the crook of his neck and her fingers clutching his pajamas. William looked at her tenderly, gently stroking her lower back through the thin fabric of her nightgown. Then, slowly, he rolled on his back, overlooking. He tenderly stroked her cheek to put a lock of her hair behind her ear.

-Mmmhh William, Julia murmured sleepily.

-Shhht, he blew on her lips, go back to sleep, you're exhausted darling.

He met her eyes still misty and he smiled.

-We both work, she said, frowning, we'll be late.

-We will managed without you this morning, take your time, he murmured, stroking her forehead, I'll call you if everything happen.

-William I ...

He cut her off by kissing her and she just savored the feeling of William's tongue dancing with hers and his body pressed tightly against her. At the end of that kiss, William put his forehead against hers a moment, stroking her face.

-See you later, he whispered just before leaving and getting out of bed

She watched him leave the room and go to the bathroom. She heard the water running and without her realizing it, she fell asleep again, her face tucked into the pillow of William, still wishing to feel his presence beside her.

* * *

When Julia came on the open space of the police station, she had made her decision. It was almost eleven o'clock and the station was calm. She had taken her morning to take care of her for a ride in the neighborhood and she had the plan to lunch with William. She wanted to talk to him, about Richard, about her past. She could not bear to look him in the eye knowing that she was lying to him, by omission certainly, but it was nevertheless she felt to betray him. She had to talk to her, she knew, even if it cost her, she knew that unspoken secrets and could cost more. She was then at the door of the office of her husband, watching him few moments sitting at his desk before inhaling deeply and knock on the door jamb. He looked up at her and smiled. She did the same, yet with discomfort and she entered the room.

-I'm not bothering you? She asked simply.

-Never, William replied as she sat in the chair across from his desk, feeling better?

She stared into his and he rose to bypass his office and sit on the chair next to hers.

-Julia, William continued, taking her hand, you seem preoccupied lately and you spent the night having nightmares. You did not want to leave me for a second, I heard you whisper my name in your sleep. What is going on?

She left his eyes and she locked her fingers on those of her husband. So he had noticed. She was not surprised after all he knew her so well. She inhaled deeply but she refused to look at him when she spoke again.

-I have to talk to you, I ... it's about my past I ...

-Sir, George threw rushing into the room, Ferguson is leaving for Calgary, the train leaves in twenty minutes.

William saw Julia freeze on site before meeting her gaze.

-He is our prime suspect, he said simply to her attention, I have to ... I have to go.

-I understand, she said in a sighing, go ahead.

-We will talk, I promise.

She nodded and he leaned forward to drop a long kiss on her cheek and stood up, letting go of her hand to leave the room at a run without looking back, taking his hat in passing. Yet, on the open space, he could not help but stop for a second and turn to his office to see Julia's head in her hands. He felt his heart stop in his chest for a second. He knew how it was to be lost, and only at that moment. He had only wanted to join her in the office again to hug her and tell her that the investigation did not matter, they could manage without him and that he would stay with her. But William could not, and that reality broke his heart.

* * *

Julia found herself for minutes lost in thought. She then decided to leave William's office to hae a walk but her eyes fell on a note therein. An address. Richard Hatkins, 502 Sherbourne Street. Her heart clenched in her chest. She memorized the address and she simply left the place, going to meet this man.

She knocked repeatedly at the door and when she was about to leave, the door opened to Richard. He smiled tenderly and she did the same.

-Good morning, he murmured.

-Good morning, said Julia, do you have a few moments to give me?

-Of course, it's always a pleasure to see you.

He motioned her to come and she simply complied. A quick glance around her told her that Richard had to remain in town for a long time as the furniture was already in place and numerous.

-A tea? He suggested.

-Yes, thank you.

He nodded and he led her to the living room where the boxes were still piles filled with books.

-I have not hired servant, I'll be back in five minutes, make yourself at home.

She smiled at him and a second later, he left the room, leaving her alone. Julia was uncomfortable, but yet she paced the room a few moments, looking forward to one or the other book. When Richard returned with a tray, she turned to him, showing him the book she was holding.

-You've still have, she whispered stunned.

-It's one of the few souvenirs I have of my years of study, he answered by seeing what book she was holding.

-You stole me, she said, laughing at seeing her name writing on the first page.

She flipped through the book to find many notes she had taken during her studies and get to page 63, where there was a dried rose since ten years, the one he had give to her one day.

-You told me to keep it, Richard murmured approaching her so close she felt his breath on her lips, and you were very enterprising showed you that I accept it.

She looked up at him and felt her breath catch to his proximity at the spark of desire she could see in his eyes.

-All of this is the past, Julia sighed, stepping back.

-You're yet there today, you came to see me. Your husband does know?

He saw her frown and he pointed to the rings she wore on the left finger.

-I saw it right away, I was expecting you were going to tell me.

-I do not owe you anything Richard.

-Why are you there?

-For ... She sighed deeply, I do not know.

He took her hand tenderly and she looked up at him again.

-Come, the tea is ready, he said simply by leading her to the sofa.

She sat and he sat on a chair in front of her. They were silent for a long moment before Julia takes the floor.

-I tried to talk about you to my husband to tell him what happened between us. But it is much more difficult than I had thought.

-Did you talk about the child?

-He has known for years that I got pregnant, I abort ... and that I'm now sterile.

-Do... do you?

-You have no idea how difficult it was Richard, Julia continued, feeling the tears rise in her eyes, the Doctor who operated on me does not pull his punches. He destroyed the fetus and with it any chance for me to conceive again. He left me almost dead. I will never have children, I will never give William a son and he so deserves to have a son.

-I'm sorry Julia, really, he said, taking her hands, but you know we could get married and ...

-Do not commit this up, retorted Julia, you know as well as I ever wanted to become husband and wife, I will not get it supported.

-You're married well today.

-You have nothing in common to my husband. I would never have supported your character and the place of the woman living in the home.

-So do not blame me for what happened, we were two, I never forced you. You liked making love with me, you asked me again and again and you knew the consequences as much as me. You are responsible for what happened to you, I refuse to wear the hat.

Julia felt anger win, of course he was responsible. He was responsible for telling her that there was a lower risk of getting pregnant, she should simply study the cycle to avoid it. He had been the one to whom it was given for the first time, and several times she had trusted him and when he learned she was carrying his child, he had simply abandoned. _It's your problem Julia,_ had he _, I will be Doctor, if you keep this child, you will be my wife if this is not the case then we have nothing more to do together. I do not want to take care of this child, I will not suffer the scandal._

She then made a choice, a choice that still cost her today, every time she plunged her gaze into William's and she saw how he could become a perfect family man.

-I am ready to forgive you, she murmured softly, but I ask you something in return. Refuses to help Detective Murdoch when he asked you. Refuses to see him, no longer comes into contact with him.

-In what Murdoch has to do with our history?

Julia did not answer and looked at her hands, her fingers making her dancing rings before looking up at the young man again.

-Oh I see, blew the young man, he is your husband.

She nodded.

-I understand now, he says to himself, but I'll have to think about this.

-Richard, Julia sighed.

-Give me time to think about it, he is a very cultured man despite his side stuck and we had interesting conversations. I wonder what his views on the situation of single mothers, those who have sex outside of marriage. What do you think he will answer me knowing that his wife was a passionate woman and she joined in secret a man to make love all night?

-Leave him out of our history, please, Julia insisted, he does not deserve to suffer.

-Until what are you ready to go to protect him from the truth?

She frowned and pulled away from him and never have any contact with him.

-I do not understand, she whispered, William knows that I had an affair, and he knows the consequences it had.

-You must understand Julia, I do not speak to you only of your past, but I also speak of your coming here today for me to spend time with your ex-lover then you're a married woman.

-You're rot.

-I am ready to keep secret and not to see him, but for that you must give me something in return.

-What?

-A dinner or two to remember the good old days. So you see I am a good man who cares about you yet despite all these years.

-And how do you want me to explain this? Julia threw with a laugh though joyless.

-I do not know, but I need to spend some time with you.

-I may lose him if he knows it.

-And how do you think he will react by learning who I am and you're still whack with my presence?

-I am not...

She did not finish her sentence and she looked at her lap. He was right and she knew it.

-Very well, she murmured, dinner nothing more.

-I will contact you to set a day and time, he replied with a smile before taking a sip of tea.

She did the same and after a few minutes, Julia got up and she walked her to the door. He leaned over and planted a long kiss on her cheek, right next to her ear she felt his hot breath when he spoke in her ear.

-I missed you, and I still think you're more beautiful that in the past. I will try to contact you promptly.

She anchored her eyes in his and she left without answering him, feeling his eyes on her until she found herself in the street, the moment she finally caught her breath, knowing she was trapped .

* * *

 _to be continued..._


	6. Chapter 6

**_Chapter 6_**

That was three days she tried to escape him. Three days Julia pretended having to go to the morgue early to work while she spent hours sitting at her desk lost in thought. She pretended to have too much work to have lunch with her husband, she thanked heaven that he was working on a new case and she did not have to dine with him at night. She lie down quickly, in fear of not having the opportunity to feign sleep when he returned. Yet Julia slept very little, eaten away by guilt. She knew that William suspected something. He had asked her what happened, she had tried to tell him in his office when she mentioned her past. But she had always managed not to answer him, to reject him, sometimes brutally.

-Dear God, Julia , but what is going on? William launched when she had finished her report.

-I'm tired, nothing else, she replied dryly.

-Tired? You avoiding me for three days, you refuse to speak to me, you seem not bear my presence.

-Well, yes, took the young woman, I'd like a bit of freedom and space when I work William . Living with you and spend my days with you, exhausts me, I choke and I need space.

-I thought you liked it, that we were a good team.

-Give me breathe, retorted Julia, moreover tonight do not expect me, I meet a former colleague of asylum for dinner, she added before leaving and take refuge in her office.

William had not responded with a broken heart. Then, without a word, he left the room with slow, not noticing the tears flow on Julia's cheeks.

-I'm sorry William, she had whispered with a sob, sincerely sorry.

She had been crying a few minutes in silence, shaking her fingers the note from Richard who invited her that evening at dinner. She had to go there, but she knew her heart screamed at her to rush into the office of William and beg him to keep her in his arms, forever.

-Madam? Asked Rebecca seeing her wipe her eyes red. Everything is fine?

-Yes, Julia sighed, smiling, thank you Miss James, all is well.

-You seem different lately and Detective Murdoch ...

-Thank you, Julia tenderly cut, I am fine Rebecca.

The young woman just nodded, understanding that Dr. Ogden did not want to talk about her private.

-I hope it will work out, she said just before leaving the room, leaving Julia even more alone and guilty that she had been wills reject all people who cared about her.

* * *

The night was already falling when Julia gave two small blows to the front door. She was greeted by a plump old woman who smiled at her tenderly.

-Good evening, Julia whispered, Dr. Hatkins waiting.

-He warned me of your coming, she said with a smile, please.

Julia went into the house now perfectly tidy and clean. She removed her hat and jacket she handed her.

-Sir awaits you in the lounge, dinner will be ready in a few minutes.

Julia just nodded and she joined the living room to see Richard watching the flames dance in the fireplace den absently, his elbow resting on the edge of the fireplace. She watched a few moments before she did notice her, clearing her throat. He turned immediately to her and he smiled to approach and take her hand.

-Good evening Julia, he murmured in a low voice, I am very happy to see you tonight.

She did not answer and she felt the young man put his hand on her waist and lean toward her. He touched her lips with his and the young woman immediately turned her head to avoid the kiss that ended on her cheek. She stepped back and broke off all contact with him.

-I am here tonight as we had agreed, she said, plunging her eyes into his, I am married Richard and I am doing this to save my marriage.

-Dinner with a man other than your husband, it's a funny way to save a marriage. What have you told him to come tonight?

-That does not concern you, Julia whispered, but know that I do it because I love him, and I love only him.

He just nodded and walked to the bar to serve a drink before turning to her.

-Whiskey?

-With pleasure, Julia replied in approaching him before taking the glass he handed her.

-In memory of the good old days, he said, raising his glass, the time we spend hours wanting to remake the world.

They clinked glasses and drank a sip before Richard spoke again.

-Oh do you remember Isaac? I saw him in town, it has a Doctor's Office, we will go for a drink together this week. You could join us. I remember all the times we had lunatics all three. He said that he has long not seen you.

-I am very busy with my work, said Julia, well then ... William does not like Isaac.

-Jealous?

-No, William is anything but jealous, she laughs, it's just a long history.

-Mmmh if your husband is not jealous I think it is a good point for me.

Julia did not answer and took another sip before two small strokes were brought to the living room door.

-Sir, the meal is ready, threw the voice of the lady companion on the other side.

-Thank you Martha, we arrive.

They finished their drinks and Richard guided Julia in the adjacent dining room.

* * *

They dined in a good mood, remembering the good old days. Gradually, as the minutes passed, Julia relaxed, helping alcohol. She knew she could not survive this evening if she does not let go taking and alcohol had become her refuge. She talked a lot, she laughs, she appreciated the evening, listening with fascination Richard's travel stories. When she saw midnight approaching, she decided to go home, leaving her chair wobbling.

-Do not you want to drink tea yet?

-No, thank you, I have to go, William is likely to worry about not see me coming. Thank you Richard, I spent a good evening.

-I am glad to hear that, he replied, smiling.

She did the same and she walked to the front door to retrieve her things and get dressed. She would leave the house when Richard took her hand and raised it to his lips to kiss it.

-I also had a great evening, he said in one breath, I hope we can repeat a dinner like this.

Julia did not answer and she just left the house, however, on the way leading to the street, she turned around. She gave him a soft smile and a look before heading down the street. The evening had made her in a good mood. She finally felt relaxed, until she turned the key in the lock of the hotel room, when she remembered the betrayal she inflicted to the man she loved.

William was already there. He was in bed and the suite was plunged into darkness. Quietly, she joined the bedroom and she undressed to get her nightgown. A quick stop in the bathroom to undo her hair and have a bit of water on her face, and she joined him as discreetly as possible. She lay down and turned to her husband. Then she noticed that he was not asleep and he watched her with his deep dark eyes. Lying a few centimeters from each other they never took their eyes. Julia then approached a little more William to shake against him but William moved at the same time, turning. She froze, seeing her husband turn his back and she bit her lip. _After all you totally deserved it_ , she thought, turning her back also to lie on the side. She plunged her face into the pillow and she felt tears running down her cheeks, she wept in silence, so that above all he does not hear how she was devastated by this situation which she was the one responsible.

* * *

 _to be continued..._


	7. Chapter 7

**_Chapter 7_**

 _She was sitting in a huge garden behind a big house. The sun of August inundated. Julia was seated on a bench cushions behind her back to be comfortable, a glass with lemonade on the small pedestal table nearby. Immersed in her reading, she cast a few glances at a young boy playing ball a little further. Aged about ten years, the clear skin, blond hair and blue eyes, he was perfectly dressed and full of life. Julia sighed deeply, she was happy._

 _-Matthew, gently, I do not want you to pit your pants again._

 _-Yes mother, the boy cried a little further with a laugh before returning to play._

 _Julia shook her head slowly from side to side before plunging in her book. "From the Earth to the Moon" - Jules Verne._

 _Suddenly she felt hands land on her shoulders and she closed her eyes mild hit._

 _-Good evening my love, the young man whispered in her ear before kissing her on the neck._

 _She looked at him smiling and he kissed her lips._

 _-Good evening darling, she said, stroking his cheek, your day was good?_

 _-Yes, but I was eager to see my wife and son, he said, smiling._

 _He took her hand and pulled her up to kiss her again, sliding his hands on her body._

 _-Richard, Julia sighed in his ear, our son is a little further._

 _-In this case, let's go, I can not wait._

 _She had no time to answer that drew her to the house when she heard her son always laugh off but she didn't saw him anymore . They quickly entered the dining room and after a glance they kissed passionately. The young man undid her corset laces and pulled her skirt over her thighs to get between her lefs. She closed her eyes as he kissed and caressed while became more pressing._

 _-Oh yes ... Richard, she moaned when he grabbed her and began his sweet torture._

 _She leaned back, lying on the table, her legs dangling into space, feeling the passion to win. Then she heard wailing in the distance, it was not a child but an infant. With all her might she tried to push the man lying on her._

 _-Richard, she moaned breathless, the baby, can you hear?_

 _-There is no baby Julia, he grumbled in her neck without stopping, he died._

 _She opened her eyes and she saw the young man away from her for buttoning his pants and put her skirt over her legs. He smiled and kissed her on the forehead when a man entered._

 _-Darcy? Julia threw stunned._

 _But she a second after Richard directs a pistol at him and killed him, a bullet in the head. She then tried to approach him, the man died in the center of the dining room when another came in._

 _\- Toronto Constabulary, William launched a harsh voice, I arrest you for the murder of Darcy Garland , Constable pass him handcuffs._

 _Julia saw George enter burst into the room while she was still frozen in the middle, unable to speak or move. George grabbed Richard who looked yet again._

 _-She is the murderer, she was the one that killed our son, he said before leaving the room._

 _In a split second, Darcy's body disappeared and she was alone with William, his eyes plunged into hers. In one jump he approached her, he slipped his hand into the small of her back and he took against him. She felt his breath mingling with hers, he stroked her cheek, she saw the desire in his eyes and a second later he kissed her languidly, deeply. She submitted simply hugged her tightly feeling her heart pounding against his._

 _-I love you Julia, and you are mine you, William's voice whispered in her mind, I love you._

William looked at his wife sleeping at his side. He had heard moaning in her sleep and he had seen her agitated. He thought she was having a nightmare and wanted to take her in his arms to reassure her, but when he heard the first name to escape her lips he understood. She did not nightmares, she dreamed a dream enthusiast, a dream in which he was not. She dreamed of another man. _Ooooh yes Richard_. William's heart sank in his chest, he felt betrayed. He looked at her a moment, she did not subside and he preferred not to grieve this torture any longer.

-I love you Julia, he whispered in her ear, even if you do not love me as much as I do. I love you.

He stroked her cheek with the fingertips and left the bed, taking his pillow on the way to reach the living room and lay down on the sofa and try to fall asleep again.

* * *

It took a lot of courage for Julia to take the road to the home of Richard Hatkins that morning. But she had decided to end eveything. When she woke up that morning memories of her dream were still present to her mind, and William was not there. She refused to continue playing this game, yet she refused to harm William. She had taken her decision, ask Richard to leave her life and then go talk to William. She wanted to tell him everything in detail. She then knocked on the door of the big house and a few short minutes it opened. She was surprised to find himself facing the Doctor and not to the company of Martha.

-Martha left to the market, he said simply, crossing her puzzled look, come in please...

-No, Julia cut off, I will not enter Richard.

-Do you want to discuss the doorstep? It's interesting.

-I came to tell you that I never want to see you anymore, it's over. I do not want you in contact with me or my husband.

-You still owe me a dinner Julia.

-I owe you nothing, threw her angrily the day you let me down because I was caring your son you've ceased to exist for me. I had to fight alone to solve this "problem" like you said, I almost died because of you, I endangered my marriage because of you, I will never give a child to man I love by your fault, then not Richard, I owe you nothing.

-You know I can tell him everything, including the evening we spent yesterday.

-You do not have to do it, I'll do. I'm going to tell him who you are, blackmail that you did to me, I'll tell him, I will speak to him of my youth, there will be no secrets between us. And thus your kind of decay can never separate us.

-Julia, think you ...

He took her wrist and looked into hers a few seconds before taking a step towards her. She did not move when he leaned over and gently kissed her. She did not move as she felt the young man's lips on hers and she caught her breath when he walked away.

-Get out of my life, she whispered before turning and leaving the pitch of the race remains without turning.

A few steps away was a man who had witnessed the whole scene. He had never been in his nature to do so, but William had wanted to have be sure. In that moment, he felt a sharp blade pierce right through his heart. He had then not mistaken, she maintained a relationship with this man. Doctor Hatkins that he himself had presented to him. He felt silly, he was angry, he was sad. He had not noticed that he had stopped breathing for a moment. And when he caught his breath, he mounted his bicycle and pedaled at full speed through the streets of Toronto. He needed to move, to think, to forget, before come face to his wife again and decides to confront the painful truth.

* * *

 _to be continued..._


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter 8**_

She drove around all day. Julia had combed the city along wide and across from the police station, the morgue, the park, the hotel, the places she frequented with William. But there was no trace of him, not the slightest.

-He told you that he had urgent business to attend to but you do not mention what it was? Julia had asked George.

-I did not ask him, we no ongoing investigation, I thought you knew.

-If you see him tell him that I seek and that is very important.

George did not answer, only nodded, before seeing Julia leave the police station without turning. And since then she walked the streets of Toronto, wondering where William could be. She needed to see him, to talk to him, to feel reassured and safe in his arms. Yet she was afraid of having to face him, plunging her eyes into his and tell him that she had committed the past days. She was afraid, she was terrified of losing him, that he simply remains silent about her, unable to express his feelings towards her when she had told him everything. But at that moment, sitting alone in the living room of their suite, she wanted only one thing, to run to him and snuggle into his arms.

* * *

William went on the set of the police station as a puppet. It was already 7 p.m, he had cycled in the city all day. He stopped at the lake to reflect and then he needed to go to his office, unable to go home and face his wife.

-Ah Sir, George exclaimed on seeing him, Dr. Ogden was looking for you this morning, she told me to warn you when I see you but I think you have already had to cross her and ...

-I need you to do some research to me George, William gently cut, find me all you can about Richard Hatkins, his origins, his family, his studies, his travels, his posts, his conquests, I want it all know. I'll be in my office, do not bother me, except to give me this information.

George did not have time to answer that William slammed the door behind him. He saw him drop to his chair and take the head in his hands and sighed. The young man was certain that something was going on between his friends, he just hoped that if it is not too serious.

William remained prostrate at his office for nearly an hour when George came back and gave him a full report on the Hatkins Doctor. William already knew except for a detail.

-Diploma from Bishop's University, he was arrested for indecent assault but he was still a student.

-During a warm summer evening in Hallans Point, William muttered, with other young people from the best locations in the city.

-The other names are not specified, but ...

-Thank you George, William cut in rising and leaving the office without looking back.

He took his hat and coat and without slowing he left the police station to take his bicycle and finally go home.

* * *

Julia had spent two hours sitting in total silence when she heard the door of the suite open. She stood in jump and just waited, feeling her heart pounding in her chest. Her breath caught when she met the gaze of William. In silence he took off his hat and coat and he just stepped into the room. They stood face to face for a few seconds before leaving the eye.

-I ... I've been looking for you all day, Julia murmured.

-I had matters to do, William replied with distance.

-It's what George told me but ...

She did not finish her sentence and she just looked at her feet before taking a deep breath and take a step toward William.

-William I ... I have to tell you, this is important.

-I do not want to listen to you tonight, I'm exhausted.

-There I must speak to you, Julia insisted on approaching him, I ... it's about Doctor Hatkins.

-You have an affair with him, William whispered before meeting her eyes, is it not ?

-No, I ... how can you believe that I have an affair with him?

-Do not take me for an idiot, I know who this man is. The father of your child, it was he is not ?

She was silent a few moments before speaking again breathed.

-How hid you know?

\- I would like you you to tell me, retorted William yet keeping calm, but you did not. I just did some research, I saw you troubled in his presence without knowing why and I understood.

-I ... I meant to tell you, I wanted to tell you but it was complicated.

-In what was it complicated to tell me?

-I do not dare, I was afraid of your eyes and I tried in your office but George arrived and ...

-And that's why you went back to him? You have dinner with him and you ... sleep with him?

-What I sleep with him? William I did not sleep with him, I have not deceived you, Julia retorted angrily, how can you put my love and my loyalty to you questioned.

-Do you still love him?

-No, I love only you and you know it.

He spent a few seconds in total silence before Julia softly approach to William and put her hands on his chest.

-I swear I love only you, she whispered.

-Then why the kiss him?

She pulled back sharply from him without leaving his eyes, feeling her heart sink in her chest. She felt hurt, hurt to know that William had seen, probably followed, hurt to understand that he had witnessed this scene she wanted to forget.

-You have followed me, she murmured, how you dared to do that.

-I know you Julia, I saw that you were not yourself, I understood that you were hiding something from me. So yes, this morning I followed you and saw you.

-How could you do this to me?

-Do what? It is you who have found in the arms of another man, growled William, you're moaning his name in your sleep. Do you realize the hurt I can feel?

-I do not have control over my dreams and you know very well that the unconscious is complicated.

-Complicated?

-I did not want to dream about him, his back to me messed up, that's all. And I wanted to fix everything, I went to see him to tell him to leave our lives, I wanted him away from us, took Julia in turn, threatened to tell you everything, to tell you what woman I was younger that I recognized him from the day he entered the morgue. He wanted to destroy our marriage. And I wanted to protect you.

-Do not blame him for something you are able to do alone. If you loved me you had to tell me that instead of betraying me. I thought we did not have any secrets.

-Bloody Hell I love you William! Cried Julia. Richard is a ghost from the past, he made me suffer, I almost lost his life because of him, I will never have children because of him.

-Because of him? William was angry a little more. You're the one to blame for acting like an idiot, it's you that has failed, it was you who decided to kill this child. You could have abandoned him and none of this ever would have happened. But you're too selfish to think about the harm you can do to others. There were only your career mattered and that is still today, if I had counted a little more for you, if you had thought that I could feel you would never have acted this way.

-How...dare you ... say that, sobbed Julia, you know how much I suffered, only you know what all this cost me. You know how much I suffer not give you child simply because of a youthful indiscretion.

-Let me to doubt it, said William.

Julia remained speechless in front of William, trying to compose herself to the painful attack of her husband. While this seemed totally devoid of feelings.

-So we got there, she murmured, you reproach me finally. This moment has finally arrived, the one where you throw me in the face with my past acts. That moment when you reproach me not to bring you children. But William, you made a choice, the young woman became angry again, you chose to marry me and you know I can not give you son, you said you wanted only me, we adopt but you do not think for a second, is not it? Did you truly loved me for who I really am?

-And I was very foolish to do so, William sighed, as it seems you always want what you do not have.

Julia did not answer and she just lowered her eyes to the ground, it was enough to William to catch his hat and coat and head for the door.

-William, Julia threw taking his wrist to plunge her eyes into his, please do not leave me, I beg you, she sighed lip, placing her forehead against his, Richard does not count, I did not kiss him, it was he who did it, it was he who wanted to seduce me, it was he who wanted to separate us, I tried to arrange things for us, but I hurt you, forgive me.

He did not answer and she felt William seize her hand for her to loose. She met his gaze and without a word he walked away from her and was about to leave the room.

-Stay, murmured Julia, we need to talk. I need you to talk to me.

But William was silent and he gave her a glance before leaving the room, leaving her silent and motionless, quietly weeping upon seeing the door close on her husband.

* * *

 _to be continued..._


	9. Chapter 9

_**Chapter 9**_

William had walked in the dark streets of Toronto for minutes, trying to calm down. He was angry, but he also felt guilty. Guilty of having had words so harsh towards his wife. He wanted to hurt her as much as she did, and now he felt guilty. He knew that turn against her his own pain of her past actions had been a bad thing, but William could not prevent his words, his anger and pain.

He stood before the large white house, in a residential area of the city. He would solve one problem after another, and he would start with this one. On a firm step, he walked to the front door to ring. A plump woman opened and looked at him with wide eyes.

-Sir?

-Detective William Murdoch, Toronto constabulary , I must speak with Doctor Hatkins.

-Well, I ...

She had no time to answer that William rushed into the house, taking the path of the living room where he saw the light. He saw the doctor sat up in the sofa, reading the newspaper. He looked at him with incomprehension and he arose.

-Detective Murdoch, what ...

But Richard did not finish the sentence to feel William's fist in his face and collapsed on the floor.

-Do not approach my wife anymore, William growled a sour voice, giving him a glare before turning on his heel and left the house without a word and without looking back.

Once in the street, he breathed deeply massaging his hand for a moment. He had come in order to have a discussion with this man, but having him in front of him had brought him out of his gongs. He could not resist and he finally felt a little calmer. Satisfied, William smiled. Then he went back to the hotel. He still had half an hour of walking and wanted to take this time to put his ideas into places and think about how to act when he would be faced Julia again.

* * *

When he entered the suite, it was plunged into darkness. For a brief moment he thought that Julia was not there, but he looked in the room and saw that someone was lying in bed He then took off his hat, his jacket, his shoes, he opened his tie and vest while heading toward the bathroom. He looked toward the bed, Julia was asleep, her hair disheveled swallowing her face, plunged into the pillow of the young man. William had a shy smile, she always did that when he came home late and fell asleep before his return or when he worked in the living room and she could not wait to lie down. Without stop, William went into the bathroom and undressed to wear his pajamas. He refreshes, nursed his wounded knuckles and he rejoined the bed. He was reluctant to go to bed on the sofa, but tonight more than any night he needed to feel his wife against him, to take her in his arms, to convince himself that she was there, close. He sighed deeply and slowly he removed the sheets. He glided without taking his eyes off from Julia. She stirred in her sleep and turned instinctively toward him. He pushed one of her hair from her face strands and stroked her cheek tenderly, noticing the traces of tears were there. His heart clenched in his chest and without realizing it, he approached a little more to overhang her. His thumb redrew the outline of her lips and his fingers slipped behind her ear.

-Forgive me, murmured William lip, placing his forehead against hers, I love you Julia, I love you so much.

He moved away from her a little to notice her blue eyes sunk in his. His breath caught, and he remained there, motionless, his hand on the cheek of his wife and his eyes plunged into hers for long seconds. He saw the regret in her eyes, her love too. He gently caress her lips with his and kissed her tenderly. Julia did not push him and she slipped a hand into the neck of William to keep his face close to hers. He renewed his kiss, more deeply this time making his tongue dance with hers, pressing his body against hers. Then he buried his face in her neck when he filed tender and passionate kisses. Julia could not help pushing a few moans. With one hand, he opened the buttons of her nightgown to stroke fingertip her soft skin between her breasts. Julia arched and he felt her fingers touching his chest as she opened his pajama top. She slid on his shoulders and she sat up to kiss his neck while William's lips took the path of the breasts of his wife. Feeling his breath accelerate and Julia's chest rise in staccato rhythm of her breathing, he walked away from her to look at her. They exchanged a glance and very gently, so that the young woman had her hands on the belly of her husband, he went up her nightgown over her thighs, ensuring tenderly caress. She closed her eyes, sighing his name and he looked down at her femininity naked now. Julia's hands down the back of William to lower his pajama bottoms, just below his buttocks just enough to free his masculinity when she put her hands . He covered her body with his again and kissed her deeply when he took her. They pushed a groan at the same time. They exchanged a long, deep kiss which cut their breath, and after another tender glance, the dance began. They made love in this way, tenderly, gently, without bothering to undress completely, forehead against forehead, making sure to reach as possible. When they resumed their breath after reaching the point of no return, William still lying on Julia, she took the breathless voice in his ear.

-I love you William, she murmured, I'm sorry for what I've done. I always loved you, and I will never love anyone else.

He walked away from her just enough to meet her eyes, to see the tears running down her cheeks. He kissed them and left her body. He pulled up his pajama bottoms on his waist, he descended the nightgown on the thighs of Julia, but he does not close her nightgown. He played a few seconds with her blond curls before kissing her and then lie against her. He put a hand on her waist and the other on her breast. Then he snuggled against her, closing his eyes, still lying between the legs of his wife, enjoying the rhythm of her breathing became slow. She looked down at him, feeling the warm breath of William on the skin of her breast. She slipped her hand through his dark hair and massaged his scalp simply closed her eyes, relieved to feel the powerful body of the man she loved covering her body, glad he had made love to her in the most tender way, serene knowing that he forgave her and he loved her enough to do it.

* * *

 _to be continued ... ;)_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Chapter 10**_

The young woman had woken up gently that morning . She was surprised to not feel the powerful body of William over hers. She turned her head to the pillow of her husband still smell his perfume and warm sheets. He was getting up just a few minutes before. Julia gently prepared, noticing small red marks on her chest, between her breasts and down her neck, she ate breakfast, which was already on the table in the lounge. William had thought of everything, but she had not seen him. She had joined the police station, but she hadn't enter, she did not know if William wanted to see her. They had not talked after all, she did not know what his feelings were, his emotions about what had happened the day before. Julia was still worried, worried that he still angry about her and that he may be regretted for having made love last night. She, she did not regret, rare were the times they had made love in this way, in a way so tender and intense at the same time.

* * *

Julia hesitated a moment before sighing deeply and take the way to the morgue to get in and get to work, retreating when she would face William and the moment she was going to talk to him, finally. She set to work, and gently, she forgot her darkest thoughts to focus on an autopsy. She nearly led in the greatest silence, only giving some instructions and information to Rebecca who found a little more relaxed than other days, but still a little concerned.

Julia was busy sewing up the body of the poor man died naturally, when the young woman she went to the door.

-I'll be there in an hour Madam, she said while Julia looked up at her.

-Take your time for lunch, we are not overwhelmed. I finish the stitching and his report and I will be making a turn to stretch my legs, too.

-See you later, Rebecca replied, smiling.

-See you later, Julia whispered in the same way before she looks her leave the morgue without looking back.

Dr. Ogden focused on her task again, enjoying the silence of the morgue, before putting the body in the cold, clean tools and whashed her hands . Then she went to her office and she took a pen to complete her report. But Julia could only write a few words, soon lost in thought. She closed her eyes a few seconds and without realizing it, she plunged back into her memories , in her darkest nightmares.

 _The rain was falling hard to the dark when she entered the building, when she kept crying and running away. She trembled all the way, for fear of being discovered, we know she was going to an abortionist. She waited a few minutes before entering the room lit by dozens of candles arranged around a table covered with a white sheet. Man face she had looked forward to a moment before telling her to undress, keeping only her stockings and shirt. She did, uncomfortable to lie on her back and look at the ceiling. She felt the hands of the old man on her, the feel many times in ways that did not please her. She clenched her teeth and held her breath when she spread her legs and buried his face between. He spoke very little and Julia had little replied, feeling the pain getting stronger gradually as he was making his examination, as and he destroyed the life, and forever . Julia had felt tears sliding down her cheeks, much more painful than what was happening in her. She saw the little body covered in blood, his little hands, his little feet, his belly. She saw that it was a boy, the child was barely formed and he would still have many months to live in her belly to come to an end, but she already felt a huge sense of guilt. That of having destroyed an innocent life. She thought it was the only choice, because she knew she would never have been able to give birth to this child, take him in her arms and then abandon him. Julia convinces herself that she had done what she had, she would have children later, with a good man, when she had done her duty, when she would become Doctor. She was young, she had time to live. Then she looked frail little body, this child died, and slowly falling into unconsciousness, the pain in her belly so strong that she could no longer fight and she simply asleep, the blood flowing profusely on her legs._

 _When she woke up two days later, she had put her hand on her flat stomach, she still hurt, she was disoriented. Isaac had been at her side, he had told her what had happened. She had nearly died but was now out of danger and he would keep her secret. He swore that day that he would never let any woman in the same distress as hers. He also told her that the patrician had hurt his work, he had damaged her body more than necessary. She would never have a child, not now, not ever, never._

When William came into the morgue and saw his wife prostrate at her office, he froze, holding his breath. Yet he had seen hundreds of times in this place, he had watched her sleep that morning, but once again she was beautiful, so beautiful that it cut his breath. He took a deep breath and walked toward her, without her noticing, but without leaves her from the eye. Julia looked up, he saw the tears dancing in her eyes and down her cheeks. On one side of the handle, she wiped them and got up into a jump.

-William ... I ... do you need something?

-No I just ... I came to see you. I want to apologize for the words that I had last night.

She smiled shyly but did not move, he then approached a little of her to take her hand and on the other he touched the fingertips her cheek to wipe her tears.

-I ... I have not seen you this morning, Julia stammered plunging her eyes into his, I thought ...

-I did not mean to wake you, William replied with a shrug.

She did not answer and she didn't left her eyes away from him, savoring the feel of his hand on her skin and his dancing fingers with hers.

-Julia, William whispered, stepping closer to her, why are you weeping?

-I regret William, she sobbed without looking, I regret what I have done in the past, I'm sorry I almost lost you so many times because of this and more than anything else on this Earth, I'm afraid of losing you.

-You do not lose me, the young man replied, taking her in his arms, tell me what you were thinking when I arrived, he muttered, shoving his face in her hair as she snuggled against his chest.

-My abortion.

At these words, she felt the William tense for a moment before he tightens his grip a little around her and he kisses above her ear.

-I think you should tell me, he murmured, stroking up and down the back of Julia, you suffer as much too.

-I ... can not, she said between her teeth, I know you're going to suffer, that this is against your principles and ...

She did not finish her sentence William away feeling just barely to take her chin and to look at him. They stayed a few seconds their eyes plunged into that of the other before William takes the floor.

-At this moment, there is only you who matters Julia. Let me help you to talk about this, no matter how I feel, do not think. It is a painful event and you need to talk about. I'm here, I can hear everything, I do not judge you, I do not love you less though it may happen. But we need to talk, to go forward.

She did not answer right away, once again feeling the tears slide down her cheeks, then she simply nodded, pursing her lips, closing her eyes. William leaned in to placed a tender kiss on her mouth.

-Come, he blew gently, we'll have lunch.

-I do not know if I want to see people William I ...

-I told you "lunch" not to go to the restaurant, said the young man, taking her by the hand, we will be alone. I want to show you something.

He dragged her behind him but Julia paused, frowning. He turned to her, worried about having said or done something wrong when he saw the look of Julia landed on his wounds to his right hand.

-William? What happened to you? Julia asked, looking up at him.

-Well, I ... stammered the young man who remembered perfectly well the reaction of his wife when he was hit Darcy Garland in the street ... I had a discussion with ...

-With? Repeated the young woman approaching him.

-With ... Richard Hatkins.

-Oh, you talked.

-In reality no, I ... I just hit him, William whispered in sighs fleeing her gaze to pay attention to his shoes, and I told him never to approach you again.

He did not see the smile of Julia born on her lips and slowly, she approached him to put her free hand on his chest and meet his eyes.

-You do that?

-Julia, I know ...

He did not finish the sentence she pressed her lips against his for a kiss. When she stepped back a few seconds later, he saw that she was smiling.

-You are my hero Detective William Murdoch and the most perfect husband.

He smiled at her and she saw him blush before resuming their journey, leaving the morgue hand in hand, smiling shyly.

* * *

 _to be continued ...!_


	11. Chapter 11

**_Chapter 11_**

The couples walking hand in hand in the courtyard of the police station. William then pulled Julia to the entrance and took his bycicle he bestrode.

-Come, he said, reaching for his wife.

-William, there is only one saddle to your bicycle.

He laughed shyly and she looked at him with complete incomprehension.

-Sit down on the handlebars.

-Handlebars? And you're pedaling with me on the handlebars?

He nodded and she sighed.

-William, we will not ride two meters, tell me where you want to go instead and take a carriage or let's walk.

-Bicycle or we are not going anywhere Dr Ogden, William insisted.

She was silent a moment, biting her lips before lifting her eyes and sigh.

-It's ridiculous, she said, approaching him, I warn you, if you'll break something or if I ...

-It will not happen, tenderly cut William, I will pay attention to you, come.

She approached a little more and she lifted the hem of her skirt to sit on the handlebars, holding William in the back. Once in place and holding a hand to the craft and the other her skirt so that it does not touch the wheel, William leaned into her ear.

-It will go like this? You are well established?

-Yes, Julia grumbled, but it's really because I'm curious to see what you schemingthat I follow you in your madness.

-You like it, admit it.

He smiled and kissed her hair before straddling his bike and get pedaling somehow. He pulled Julia against him, leaving the rest of her back up against his chest and slowly they left the police station, laughing like children when William was trying to avoid people who were blocking their way.

* * *

They arrived a few minutes later in a nearby district, a residential area near a church and a school, tree-lined street with some vacant lots strewn among the houses that grew one after the other.

-It's here, William muttered, stopping the bike while Julia had simply closed her eyes for the last few meters, enjoying the ride.

She opened them and turned to her husband always behind.

-It's the area where we wanted to live, she said softly.

-Mmhh, and there, he says pointing to a field in front of them, this is our land.

They exchanged a long look, the breath of a moment cut off Julia and William had her down. He walked toward a large tree bordering the property and there laid his bicycle before turning to Julia and take her hands.

-It is ours, I bought it and we can start building our house, look.

He led with her in the tall grass and then she noticed stakes planted in the ground, connected by ropes and designing the layout of the model who sat in their living room at the hotel.

-The entrance is here, William began, here we are in the hall. Here , he went away and gesturing, here a staircase and thus, he said, stepping on his right, the living room. We will put a fireplace there, he continued by making a few meters, oh and here ...

Julia looked at him and listened attentively for minutes, following him in the labyrinth of their future home which he described to her each room. When they found themselves on the other side, William took her hand again.

-There you must imagine that you go down the stairs to the terrace, to arrive in the garden. It will plant trees to hide from neighbors.

-Hide neighbors? Julia raised, smiling mischievously.

-Oh, I ... well, William whispered, rubbing his neck, I ... we are not immune to a drive and ...

Julia approached him to slide her hands on his chest and her breath on his lips.

-You know that ... I can not resist you, William whispered in approaching her with his hand that he had slipped into the small of her back.

She tilted her head to the side and he understood the invitation, kissing her tenderly. He felt Julia be more urgent and he stepped back.

-Wait, sighed William against heart, I'm not finished.

She walked away a little more and he took several steps toward a huge tree in the background.

-I would put a garden shed in the corner and into the tree ...

-A child shack, Julia murmured, with a swing. It is to this that you thought, is not it?

He did not answer and he smiled tenderly before placing his hand on her waist and caressed her cheek.

-Julia, what I said last night to you, I regret it bitterly. I know you made a difficult choice in the past, and it hath costed you suffer still. I have never, ever had to say those words. I know you will make a perfect mother, if you really wanted.

-When ... When I saw this child, MY child died, continued the young woman, I suffered so, I feel guilty of killing an innocent, but a voice inside me said to me without stops I made the right choice. I would have a career, I would realize my dreams, I would become Doctor and can be changing the world in my own way, and I was going to meet a man. A man who would love me for what I really am, a man to whom I was one day to give children because I love him with all my heart, my body and my soul. And I do not regret my choice William, she said, stroking his cheek, I realized everything I wanted, I met you, I met this wonderful man who was destined to me. But I could never give him children. The day I killed my son, I'll have condemned you to be unhappy with me, never know the joy of being a father, I am punished me, but I punished you and I could never live with that.

-You know that I do not ask you to carry my child, replied the young man, I'm not asking you to put him in the world, I don't care if he doesn't look like me. I just want to build something with you.

-You want to adopt, Julia sighed looking at the ground.

-I do not wish that if you do not wish with all of your heart, William murmured, raising the chin of the young woman to meet her eyes.

-So you accept the situation if I told you that I do not want children.

-I accept you, as you are, I want you Julia and I never love you less because you do not want children, I never hold you grudge for that. I only want your happiness.

-At the expense of yours?

-I lie to you if I told you I do not want to raise a child with you, but know that your happiness is more important than everything else on this Earth.

William paused before speaking again, smiling.

-We can always take a dog.

-A dog? Julia gave a laugh which provoked the same reaction at William.

-Why not?

-You dare to compare our possible future child with a pet? She continued. But you are ignoble Mr. Murdoch.

They laughed for a while and once calmed, Julia snuggled in William's arms, sighed deeply, closing her eyes as he tightened his arms around her.

-All that I mean, William whispered in her ear, is that I accept your choice, whatever it is, because I love you.

They stayed a few moments in silence before Julia spoke again.

-I know I should've told you about Richard, I should not have hide that I knew him, I saw him and that we had an affair before knowing you. I should have told you that he was the father of my child. I know I am acting badly, but I could not tell you, I was ashamed.

-Ashamed of what?

Julia broke a little William's embrace to meet his eyes and inhale deeply.

\- Ashamed of the girl I was before, and when I was with Richard, I was returned to this girl. I was afraid of not being worthy of you.

-Do not think that, you are worthy of me Julia, you're brilliant, intelligent, beautiful, caring, funny. And I must say that I like your stubborn and rebellious side.

-Really? Julia asked by being cuddly.

-Do you still have doubts after all these years? William whispered on her lips. My impetuous and outrageous wife , he said before kissing her languorously, my perfect wife.

She smiled and they kissed again for a long time, closely pressed against each other to lose their breath.

-And if we had lunch now? William asked without help stroking the back of Julia who played with the knot of his tie.

-I do not see any food here, Julia murmured, only you.

-I brought a basket, it is behind the tree a little further. Which room of our future home want you to do that?

-Eat? Julia retorted mischievously. Or what we both think at that moment?

-Eat, sighed William on her lips eyes sparkling with desire while trying to contain, the walls are not yet built, anyone can see us.

-Mmmhh well then, the living room, whispered Julia, let's start with the living room.

William nodded and walked away from her abruptly to join the tree trunk a little further and come back with a basket full of food, dishes and drink. He took the hand of Julia again to reach the front of the field, but the young woman stopped him. He frowned, not understanding why she changed her mind. _She does not still make love here in broad daylight?_ Julia smiled. The idea that was born in her mind was the most delicious, and the look that gave her William seems he had thought the same thing, but that was not why she had stopped.

-I think the tree will be strong enough to put a cabin and a two swings, so they will not be able to compete.

-They? William stammered.

-Two children, Julia whispered smiling, two children seems perfect. They can ensure one on the other in this way.

William did not answer and gave her a huge smile. She did the same and she approached him to file a chaste kiss on his lips.

-I am ready. I want to raise children with you William, she sighed, I want this family. Let us leave the past in the past, you are the man of my life and it is with you I want to be happy, you and our children.

-Your decision is taken then.

-For some time, but for the dog, still give me time.

She kissed him again and she took from him the wicker basket he was holding, bypassing the young man to join the taut strings a little further. William watched her leave with a smile, she turned and smiled at him without stopping and he lost his mind. His eyes rested on her swaying, he particularly liked watching her when she move away from him. He would plant trees around the property the next day because he could never resist the desire that was born in him every time his sublime wife was with him.

 _ **END**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Epilogue**_

-Oh my God, William, Julia sighed breathlessly, closing her eyes her forehead against her husband.

He had also short of breath, feeling he resumed his spirits, Julia's fingers dancing in his neck and her heavy breathing on his lips. They had made love passionately, standing there in their bedroom, against the wall giving to the boudoir. Unable to curb this desire so great.

-We should dress, William growled a deep voice in the hollow of the ear of Julia before kiss in her hair, we'll be late.

Julia nodded, but yet she did not move. William walked away from her just to finally meet her eyes, tenderly stroking her hips, he smiled at her while leaving her body snatching a groan.

-I love you, he said simply on her lips before kissing her languorously cutting her breath again.

-Me too William , said Julia as he stroked her cheek.

Then, he finally let go, touching fingertips she still had her thigh on his hip and he bent down to pull up his underwear and pants. Julia looked lovingly as he buttoned his pants and he slipped his shirt in. She pulled her panties, tying her down again as William had dropped in his passionate movement, she grabbed her corset she quickly passed before he felt William's fingers caress to help close the laces.

-Do not tied too much and beware where you lay your hands Murdoch, Julia had whispered laughs.

He laughed with her and continued his task before she turns him to close up his shirt and tie the knot of his tie. William did not resist, tenderly playing with her blond curls that had escaped from her bun during their antics. Once he was ready, and that it remained for him to wear his waistcoat and jacket, he kissed Julia again.

-I'm waiting downstairs, he whispered, if I stay, he continued, letting his finger slide into the neck of Julia.

-Go, she sighed over his lips before filing a chaste kiss.

He nodded and walked away, but Julia took the opportunity to give him a pat on the buttocks, startling him.

-It's for havind ruined my hair, she laughs when he sent her a tender smile to leave the room.

Julia took a few minutes to prepare and join him. Then, in this hot summer morning, they left their home just completed to take a carriage and go downtown. When they stood before the large brick building, Julia felt her breath catch. It was enough for William to take her hand tenderly and smile.

-This day finally arrived, Julia murmured, I hope he will like his bedroom, and Lucky.

-All children love dogs, William assured her.

-And us? Do you think he will like us?

-Doubt you again? Arthur is overjoyed to come and live with us since the day we met him he keeps asking when does he come. Everything will be fine, do not worry.

Julia nodded and William leaned forward to kiss her cheek and he placed his other hand on her belly. She sighed contentedly.

-He will love us and we will love him, his little brother is already so important to him.

Julia smiled, placing her hand on William's tenderly stroked her belly barely bounced where grew a miracle that they had waited longer. Then, after a glance and a smile, hand in hand, they advanced toward the building where the little boy was waiting for just four years, the child they were going to adopt, their son.

* * *

William had waited long minutes in the hallway, in fear. And when Isaac Tasch left the room, he rushed towards him.

-Everything went well, he said smiling, they're fine. But Julia needs a lot of rest.

-Can I see them?

-Of Course, she awaits you, Doctor nodded, do not hesitate to call me if there is anything at all.

-I would Doctor, William answered before he goes next to him to step into the bedroom.

He then froze to see the show which was under his eyes. Julia was lying in bed, her back against the amount, she was exhausted, she had tousled hair and pale skin. She rolled her eyes filled with tears at him and gave him the most beautiful smile. He lost feet, he had never found her so beautiful. His eyes rested on the little body while she was holding against her chest, like an automaton, William approached the bed to sit and fingertips caress forehead newborn. He moved a little, burying his face into the chest of his mother, who looked up at William.

-He is beautiful, stammered the young father smiling, looks at his little nose and those little hands.

He took in his hand the baby's fingers who moved again as Julia did not take her eyes. William leaned over her and kissed her temple.

-William, murmured the young woman, I have to tell you something.

He did not answer and looked into hers.

-I know you wanted a son, but ... well, it's a little girl.

-A girl? William threw breathless. We have a daughter? Julia Oh, that's wonderful, he said overjoyed, she will looks like her mom with big blond curls, bright eyes. As beautiful and intelligent as you.

Julia had no time to answer that William kissed.

-Are you not disappointed?

-Oh Dear God no, I'm happy., So happy.

They smiled and a noise at the end of the bed caught their attention. They then looked at the little boy with brown hair and dark eyes that stood before them.

-A girl? He grumbled pouting. I have a little sister then?

The couple nodded and he made another grimace.

-Can I see her?

-Of Course, answered Julia, come.

The boy then climbed on the bed to slip between William and Julia and address the child in his mother's arms.

-But she is so tiny and crumpled.

The couple exchanged glances and laughed in unison at the notices of their son before he spoke again.

-Girls play ball too Dad?

-Yes, of course you can play ball with her but it will take a little.

-Alright, I'll wait.

He leaned a little more above the child to kiss her forehead.

-I will take care of you little sister, I promise.

At these words, Julia looked up at William, both holding their tears. On the one hand, Julia stroked the cheek of her husband and resting her forehead against his.

-I'm Happy William, she whispered lip, thank you.

He kissed her.

-I love you, he said just before kissing her again.

Then, William sat down against the bed post in turn, attracting Julia in his arms, his son on the other side, and his daughter in her mother's arms. They stood together during minutes, speaking softly to the baby who barely moved. William did not take his eyes off from his family, his heart overflowing with joy. He noticed Julia be heaviest against him, he saw that she had closed her eyes and she had fallen asleep. He had even kept some time against him, then ask Arthur to leave the room to take up his daughter gently against him and he place the baby in the cradle next to her mother. He had covered Julia eiderdown and he had stroked her forehead.

-I am happy too Julia, he had whispered.

He then filed a kiss on her skin before leaving the room to let her rest and join his son for lunch, giving one last look at the miracle that was sleeping next to her, their miracle.


End file.
